God created us with an inner thirst, desire, longing to want to be someone, to want to make a difference. As a youth, Francis of Assisi possessed a yearning to be a knight. His first experience as a knight resulted in becoming a prisoner of war. Francis continue to hang on to his dream of being a knight. Right before he joined the Papal Army, he had a dream where a guide led him into a palace of unspeakable beauty, filled with military arms. Its walls covered with shinning shields emblazoned with crosses. Francis inquired: “To whom does all this belong?” The guide told him: “All this belongs to you and your knights”. For Francis this dream was a confirmation of him becoming a famous knight.
On his way to
join the Papal Army, he had another dream in which he heard a voice asking him:
“Who can do more good for you – the master
or the servant?” Francis replied: “the master.” The voice, then, asked: “Why are you abandoning the Master for a servant?” Francis asked: “Lord, what do you want me to do?”
And the voice answered him: “Go
back to your home and you will be to told what to do.” At this point, Francis had to learn how to listen and discern who God was calling
him to become as a Herald of the Great King, a Knight of Christ.
Francis,
driven by his inner thirst, desire, longing to do God’s will, led him one day
to pray in the dilapidated chapel of San Damiano. While praying before the crucifix, he heard
Jesus tenderly calling him by name to “go
and repair my house which, as you see, is being destroyed.” This life changing experience gave
Francis a new purpose and direction for his life.
At first, Francis
interpreted Jesus’ words literally. He
rebuilt three dilapidated chapels. It
was while he was rebuilding the chapel of St. Mary of the Angels that Francis discovered
that Jesus was not talking about repairing and rebuilding a physical building,
it was the Body of Christ, the living Church.
This insight
came about while he attended Mass on the Feast of St. Mathias in St. Mary of
the Angels chapel. This passage from
Matthew’s Gospel, about Jesus sending out the disciples to share in his mission,
resonated with Francis’ desire and longing to live a life unencumbered by material
realities and to live a life dependent on God’s loving care as Christ lived his
life.
“Provide yourselves with neither gold
nor silver nor copper in your belts; no traveling bag, no change of shirt, no
sandals, no walking staff. The laborer
is worth his keep. Look for a worthy
person in every town or village you come to and stay with him until you leave.” (Matthew 10:9-11)
After the
Mass, Francis asked the priest to explain the meaning of the Gospel. At that moment, Francis proclaimed: “This is what I want. This is what I seek. This is what I desire with all my heart.” At this point Francis becomes the great
Herald of the King, Christ’s knight, to rebuild the Church by calling people
back to living a gospel life and being the Body of Christ in a wounded and
broken world.
So what
initially appeared to be a shattered dream for Francis was gradually remade
into a new dream.
Francis' story is our story. Are we listening and pursuing our deepest thirsts, desires,
longings, even though we do not know where they will lead us, what they will
call forth from us, and how they will form us into the particular image of
Christ we are called to make visible by our life?
God, definitely, has a dream for each one of us to actualize so that we are, like Francis, building up the Body of Christ in light of our times. So let us strive to serve the Master and not the servant. Christ is counting on us.
John Doctor, OFM
Quincy
University
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